A Saturday Morning Reflection

Mike decided to take the boys on an impromptu camping trip last night, so I got some precious one on one time with my little girl. We snuggled, made faces at each other...and then she proceeded to cry herself to sleep, as usual.

I woke up this morning and realized this was the first night since she was born that she slept through the night. It's funny how that is such a big deal to me now. These little triumphs (for the baby AND parents) are the facets of parenthood that I could have never grasped B.K. (Before Kids)

When Mike and I decided to get pregnant for the first time, we (like every future parent) had no idea what we were getting ourselves into. "Let's get pregnant! Let's do this!" The excitement, the anticipation, the research, the shopping, the showers...it's all so fun, fresh and new. When your first child is born, there is a sort of chaos that ensues and it envelopes you. Your heart is ripped from your chest, wrung out, torn up, and then put back inside you. It will never be the same again. Just wait...

We've heard the words from everyone around us, warning us that being a parent is the hardest, yet most rewarding job you'll ever have. When you wake up in the morning, you are immediately "on," and you are not ever...not ever, not ever, not ever, "off." There is a very real panic that sets in when you realize this. Then, for some strange reason, (divine intervention?) we decide it's time to have another child, I guess because our hearts didn't get torn up enough the first time. And then it hits us again, like a dagger, only this time, we know a little about what's ahead, so we're calmer. We smile more, we breath deeper, we take our time and revel in the miracle a bit more...things are a little more familiar, so the near future is not as frighteningly unknown. At least for now...

And a couple years later, the words come out of my mouth: "I want to have one more." As if two was not enough. It's not about "enough," though. It is just about growing your family and being "in love" with the love that forms between all of you. If God had put Mike and me in charge of populating the earth, I think I'd have my own show called, "40 Kids and Counting." Unfortunately for me (not Mike), the reality of affordability and space is...well...very real.

So, we have our third. A girl. At first I wasn't sure what to expect. I mean, I'm used to an all boy household. Even our dog is a boy for crying out loud. What was this little black-haired bundle of flesh that came maneuvering out of me at warp speed? Was she going to be a leader? A follower? Outspoken? Shy? Loving? A wife? A mother? All of the wonder and excitement came flooding into me and I knew at that moment I was in for it...again. Now I had three of these precious little worry-inducing bundles of joy and I was, for lack of a better term...doomed. My heart almost imploded with love.

It has been five months of getting to know my sweet girl, and she has become a part of me in a way that I never knew possible. There is something about her face. Maybe it's the hair, who knows? But she just seems like she knows everything I have been trying to know my whole life and it's so effortless and easy for her. She laughs, cries, eats, poops, sleeps...life is not complicated. It's as is should be...simple and free from worry. Pure joy. This is what I know life is supposed to be. She has a long road ahead of her. She has a lot to teach me. I can only hope that I'm smart enough to listen. "Teach Your Parents Well." It's a tough job, but I know she can do it. Someone should tell her..."Oh, just wait..."

Cloth Diapering from Start to Finish

I've been wanting to write this blog for about 8 months now. I think it's time. I'm not going to write a lot of fluff in this one as my desire is to show you how easy and inexpensive it is to use cloth diapers. I found it a little overwhelming when I first started, just because there are so many how-to sites and so much information.


This blog will give you my personal routine from start to finish. If you want to veer from it and change things here and there to suit your needs, please do! All in all, you will probably spend anywhere from $150-$250 initially, just depending on what you decide to buy. This is a small cost up front considering how much you're saving in the long run.


Getting Started
You'll need a few things to set up your nursery and laundry room to be ready when the baby comes. I will mostly reference my favorite cloth diapering site, Tiny Tush because I love their products and their prices. I also include some items from the Cotton Babies site in this post as well. If you want to look elsewhere, be my guest!


Checklist:

1. Diaper Pail - I use a 13 gallon trash can with a lid that I bought at Target. I don't add water, just keep it dry.
2. Diaper Pail Liners - I have two of these. That way, when one is dirty, I can use the other one. They have little pouches to put the scented discs in, if you so choose. Also, for when you're on the go, you can purchase one of these Travel Liner Bags to put in your diaper bag for soiled cloth diapers.
3. Diaper Pail Scented Discs - It's not incredibly necessary to get these, but it makes the diapering process a little less smelly:)
4. Cloth Diapers - I use the basic Chinese Prefold diapers. Not only are they great to use as rags once you're done, but they last forever and are so inexpensive. I bought 60 to start with because I don't want to wash diapers every day. With 60, you'll be washing 2-3 times per week, depending on how old your child is and how much you're changing them. When you click on the link, you have the option of buying a couple different types/sizes of these prefolds. Personally, I just like the 15-30 lb. diapers because you can fold them down for smaller babies in the beginning. I'd rather not buy another set of diapers, just because they're going to grow out of them so fast. Also, I prefer the "White Regular" diapers. Email me if you have any questions.
5. Diaper Covers - There are two types I like: the pull on covers, or the wrap style covers. Right now I'm only using the wraps and they work just fine. You will probably want to get 6-8 of these so you can rotate them. They get wet or dirty sometimes, so it's nice if you don't have to dig one out of the pail and wash it in a diapering emergency:) I always buy the medium size to start off with, just because again, I don't want to keep buying different sizes as the kids grow. I have big babies, though, so it's up to you.
6. Wipes/Liners - Now, you can always just buy wipes at the store, but I really like my cloth wipes. Not only do they wipe the "mess" off a lot better, but you are helping the environment and your pocket book! I don't use any special solution or whatever these sites try to get you to buy. After I pull them out of the dryer, I just get them wet, wring them out, fold them in half and put them into my diaper warmer. Note: I don't keep the diaper warmer on, just because it tends to dry them out fast. I just use it as a holder. Liners are good if you have heavy wetters. I like to use the liners at night, just to give the baby extra protection. You just put the liner right into the cloth diaper as you're folding it.
7. Pins - I just like the good old fashioned pins. I'm sorry, but the fasteners and the fancy covers just didn't do the job for me.
8. Laundry Soap - After much research and my own personal testing that I've done, I've decided that Tide's Tiny Bubbles is the best laundry soap for cloth diapers. It doesn't leave any residue, and the diapers get very clean.  

So, if you were to buy everything I suggested here, the grand total would come to $228.94 (pre-tax). On disposable diapers and wipes, per month, you would spend approximately $80-$100 - even more in the beginning! Knowing that, you'd recuperate your expenses in just a few months! What a deal.

The Pre-Wash

If indeed you purchased the Chinese Prefolds that I recommended, then once you get them in the mail, you will need to wash and dry them a few times to make them soft and absorbent. Just wash them according to the instructions in the package. Once you've done that, you're ready to start! 

Changing Your Baby

Watch a basic video on how to change your baby's cloth diaper.

Washing Your Diapers

Here's the part where everyone gets all "ohmigah, you do WHAT?" on me. So look, if you can't handle touching your children's dirty diapers, then you can purchase a diaper sprayer. But come on, people, it's your child...just clean the dang diapers.

With poopy diapers, you need to rinse them in the toilet to get all of the "matter" off of there before you put them in the pail. Diapers with urine can be placed directly in the pail. Also, if your diaper cover was soiled, rinse that off as well before you put it in the pail.

To wash your diapers (I do it once I'm about half way through my clean diapers), start with a pre-soak/soak cycle and two scoops of Tiny Bubbles. I do hot soak, cold rinse. (People say that using hot water first sets the stains, but honestly, I don't care if they stain. I want all of the bacteria gone.) Then after the soak, I do a normal wash cycle with cold water and two more scoops of Tiny Bubbles. 

Once the cycle is finished, you can hang the diapers dry. This not only saves money, but also the sun bleaches out any stains that might be left on the diapers. I used to be able to do this when I had the space and I really liked it. Once they were dry I would just throw them in the dryer for about 5 minutes to soften them up; however, now that I don't have the space, I just put them in the dryer on high and they get nice and soft. That's all there is to it!

Pictures of a Diaper Change

Here is a picture of my changing area, just so you can see. The pail is on the left and the trash on the right. It's really efficient to keep the diapers and covers in the same area. (The covers are in the basket in the middle cubby)

All of my wipes, powder and butt paste is up on the shelf above. So easy!

Step 1: Place diaper under the baby's bottom.

Step 2: Fold the outer edges in.

Step 3: Pull the folded diaper through the legs.

Step 4: Fold the top of the diaper down for a good fit under the belly button. For a boy, this fold also serves as a way to give extra leak protection in front. For a girl, you can fold the back down to keep leaks in the back at bay.

Step 5: Pull the wing from underneath and over the top of the folded part.

Step 6: Repeat on other side.

Step 7: Marvel at your amazing cloth diapering abilities!

Please forward this on to anyone you might feel would benefit from this blog. I want to spread the word far and fast about cloth diapering as the amount of disposable diapers we are dumping into our land fills is staggering. Help our planet and help your pocketbook...CHOOSE CLOTH!

Wine, Cheese and Sushi: A Controversial Trio

Here's the deal, folks. If you're an alcoholic or a drug addict (or a lawyer), then this post is not for you. This post is all about...MODERATION. I know, I know. It's such a vague concept, right? In today's world, moderation is a word that has been lost in translation. When you say the words "used in moderation," do people look at you like you fell off the bandwagon? Well, maybe you have. Congratulations!

These days, if you're pregnant, you're lucky if you can drink much more than a glass of water without getting reprimanded by snoopy onlookers. If you go out to eat, BEWARE, lest you order a coca-cola, nay...a glass of wine! How dare you? 


It's true, no one is given a guarantee that their baby will be healthy (yes, I just used that cliche), but worrying about things like this during pregnancy is more stressful and harmful to your fetus than actually doing them, in my opinion. The risks of harming the fetus are so low, yet so many soon-to-be moms feel downright terrible for engaging in any one of these activities. Plainly put...it just makes me sad. This is the sole reason for this blog. It's for the mothers out there who feel alone in their confusion over these supposed no-no's during pregnancy. You're not alone - we are out here!

Wine/Beer:

Now, as I said before, please don't take this as an invitation to go boozin' with the girls when you're ready to pop...but ladies? Why have we allowed the media, lawyers and insurance companies to convince us that enjoying an occasional glass of wine is putting our babies in danger? When we talk about Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, we're talking about women who've taken this moderation idea and 6-packed it into the realm of overindulgence. Here's how I see it - plain and simple - we're willing to dump copious amounts of Bon Bon's, ice cream, burgers, fries and every other fattening thing known to man into our bodies during pregnancy. Heck, we'll even sit on our butts for hours while doing it and feel justified. However, when it comes to enjoying a glass of wine or beer, we might as well be Satan. I'm not buying it! Especially since my kids were born very healthy at 10 lbs. 4 oz and 10 lbs. 11 oz., respectively. Am I blessed? Yes. But let the jury note that although I occasionally drank a glass of wine or beer, I also had a well-balanced diet and was very active throughout my pregnancy. Make of it what you will...

Sushi:

Here is what the EPA has to say about this:

"Fish and shellfish are an important part of a healthy diet. Fish and shellfish contain high-quality protein and other essential nutrients, are low in saturated fat, and contain omega-3 fatty acids. A well-balanced diet that includes a variety of fish and shellfish can contribute to heart health and children's proper growth and development. So, women and young children in particular should include fish or shellfish in their diets due to the many nutritional benefits.

1. Do not eat Shark, Swordfish, King Mackerel, or Tilefish because they contain high levels of mercury.
2. Eat up to 12 ounces (2 average meals) a week of a variety of fish and shellfish that are lower in mercury. Five of the most commonly eaten fish that are low in mercury are shrimp, canned light tuna, salmon, pollock, and catfish. Another commonly eaten fish, albacore ("white") tuna has more mercury than canned light tuna. So, when choosing your two meals of fish and shellfish, you may eat up to 6 ounces (one average meal) of albacore tuna per week.
3. Check local advisories about the safety of fish caught by family and friends in your local lakes, rivers, and coastal areas. If no advice is available, eat up to 6 ounces (one average meal) per week of fish you catch from local waters, but don't consume any other fish during that week." (1) 

For those of you who say, "Since when does the government (EPA) care about our well being?" Well, the American Pregnancy Association and the American Journal of Preventative Medicine both say that "no one should cut fish out of their diet altogether." They say that even when women are going through pregnancy, it's all about "moderation." (2) Now, eating fish raw is another story. These organizations do say that you should avoid raw fish based on the fact that the food may be contaminated. Um, will someone please tell me when my food is perfectly safe when I go out to eat? Yes, I probably have more chance of eating some bacteria if the food is raw; however, I'm willing to take a calculated risk by going to a quality sushi place in order to be as safe as possible.

By the way, I don't blame doctors for telling us to stay away. I mean, would you want to pay up the wazoo for telling someone to use moderation? I don't know about you, but I don't trust the American public to use their common sense, either. (Note: Pregnant Asian women have been eating sushi for 800 million years and it's really not been an issue. Yes, I exaggerated, but still, they've been eating sushi for a long time.)

Soft Cheeses:

Are soft cheese okay for pregnant women to eat? Here is what Amanda Leonard, a registered dietician on Babycenter.com says:

"Yes -- but only if it's made from pasteurized milk. Some soft cheeses -- such as Feta, Brie, Camembert, blue-veined cheese, and Mexican-style cheese like 'queso blanco fresco' -- and other dairy products made from unpasteurized milk (also called raw milk) can carry disease-causing organisms, including a potentially deadly bacterium called listeria monocytogenes.

Listeria infection is relatively rare. The U.S. Centers for Disease Control (CDC) estimates that it affects 2,500 people in the United States every year and this number appears to be going down. But pregnant women are about 20 times more likely than other healthy adults to get it, and the infection can be devastating or even deadly for their baby."( 3)

Knowing that our current population in the United States is about 310 million, 2,500 people is quite a small amount of people affected by this infection. Also, when you're pregnant, you're 20 times more likely to get...well...anything. I guess this issue boils down to whether or not you feel like it's worth the "risk." Some women will suffer a great deal of stress when going against the "rules" and eating unpasteurized cheese. If you are one of these women, I do not blame you for feeling this way as fear has been pushed down our throats from every angle possible. Just focus on the words stated above: "Listera infection is relatively rare." I'd say so. But again, the beauty is that it's your choice!

Conclusion:

Here's where I'm coming from, folks. I think that as pregnant women, we should do everything in our power to be healthy, safe, smart and calm during this crazy adventure. For me, having a glass of wine, enjoying an occasional sushi dinner (approved by the EPA, even) or indulging in a bleu cheese salad at Northwood's Inn are things I feel I should be able to do without people staring at me like I wish my baby dead. In fact, based on statistics on the government census website, the chances of getting into an accident are much higher than the risk you pose to your unborn child by engaging moderately in these activities. (4) You have about the same chance of dying in a car crash as you do eating bleu cheese if you're pregnant. Aw shucks, no driving for 9 months now...

If you don't like what I'm saying, I assure you, I respect that. My only hope is that you thoroughly seek out information before making decisions on how you'll go through your pregnancy. And if you're one of the women who like to play by the rules, more power to you! I applaud your tenacity.


You think this post was rough? Just wait...

Oh, Just Wait...

Welcome! I've been wanting to start a blog, not only to chronicle my thoughts/experiences/moments of insanity as an ever-changing wife and mother of two boys, but also to share some important info with women (and men) about pregnancy and parenting. I've gained some insight during my pregnancies and these early, child-rearing years that may or may not matter to anyone, but I figure I'll write about it just for the heck of it. I have a wonderful husband named Mike, a 3 year old named Dane, and a 5 month old named Ryan. Oh yeah, and our faithful little dog, Blizzard - and yes, he's a boy, too.

The inspiration for this blog comes from a couple things. The first being my numerous encounters with the alarmist public regarding the ways I handled my pregnancies and raising my children. From drinking coffee or having a glass of wine during pregnancy (gasp!), to questioning vaccinations, I'm used to people not agreeing with me. Now, I'm definitely no expert, so please do not read this as a "how to" on pregnancy and parenting. I'm only offering my little bits of experience to make people laugh, and also to bring comfort to those who are tired of the hyper-vigilant society in which we live. I am fortunate enough to have a smart mother and very close women in my life who are helping me tackle motherhood with a skosh of common sense and a tad bit of hilarity. As someone who usually has to do things by the book, it is very helpful to have people around me saying, "Just take it easy and use your head!"

Another reason for this blog is to shed some light on the "Debbie Downer" problem we seem to have in our world. Let me explain. If you've known me for a while, you know that I've come to hate the words "oh, just wait." They seem to insinuate that whatever issues you're going through now are only going to get worse in the future. Well, this blog is intended to do the opposite. My blog is here to say to you, "Oh, just wait. It only gets better!" Yes I know, parenthood is no joke, but the last thing anyone needs is someone telling them it's going to get harder. "You think 2 year olds are hard. Oh, just wait until he's 3!" Yes, we all know parenting is hard. I do not ever claim to know what it will be like when my children are teenagers, but how about I just enjoy this phase of their lives now and not worry about that yet? This is my plan, so will you join me? Let's stop "just wait-"ing and start "just enjoying" our children and the stages they're in now. Please follow this blog, or feel free to comment on what you read.